Amelia Goggin Reed’s Birth Story
November, 2010
My due date was November 9. For weeks, Daddy and I had been preparing for your arrival. Forty weeks to be precise, but recently it was different. We knew you had to come soon. I didn’t expect to have you early, but we wanted to be ready, just in case. Our hospital bags were packed. The camera, Boppy, computer, snacks, diaper bag, and bottle of wine were waiting in your room to be loaded into the car when the time came.
I went on long walks almost every day to help start labor. The walks turned into waddles since my left hip was hurting from sciatica but I kept walking. I knew I needed to stay in shape for your delivery. My last day of work was November 4th and I’m glad I stopped working then. Twelve-hour days were getting very long and I wasn’t sleeping well because of my giant belly. I couldn’t wait to sleep on my stomach again but little did I know breastfeeding makes stomach sleeping nearly impossible. Braxton Hicks contractions came and went frequently, I felt my abdomen tighten often but there was no pain. I was sure these practice contractions were getting me ready for the real thing and I would get excited when I had many in a row but they always faded out again.
November 9th came and went and we were still waiting for you. I had an appointment with the midwives that week and, per protocol, they scheduled me for a post-dates ultrasound to make sure everything was still okay on November 16th. I was determined not to have that ultrasound. We had chosen not to find out if you were a boy or a girl until you were born and I was afraid we would accidently see if we had another ultrasound. Plus, I was ready to be unpregnant. I loved pregnancy, up until about 39 weeks. I think God designed us to start disliking pregnancy near delivery time so labor wouldn’t seem quite so bad. By this time, I was uncomfortable and anxious to meet you; labor couldn’t come soon enough.
I did everything I could think of to start labor. I bounced on the exercise ball, jumped up and down, and begged you to come out soon. Emily, Anica, and Clayton Hickey came over on Monday, November 15 and we went for a long walk on the path by our house. I was starting to feel a bit crampy during the day and hoped that the cramps would organize into contractions soon. When Daddy came home from work that day, I was sitting in the nursery with the breast pump on. Pumping causes a release of oxytosin which makes the uterus contract and I was desperate, the ultrasound was scheduled for the next day. We had a good dinner that night (little did I know this would be my last meal for a while) and before bed, Daddy and I tried one more time-honored method for starting labor…
I was just falling asleep around 10:30 that night when I felt a stronger cramp in my lower abdomen that kept me awake. I tried not to get too excited and took a few deep breaths, trying to remember all of the relaxation techniques I had practiced over the past months. The cramp lasted for about a minute and another followed 5 minutes later. Is this really it? Am I starting labor? I wanted to wake Daddy up but I knew at least one of us needed to be well rested. He had to work the next day and I didn’t want him to be up all night if this wasn’t the real thing. I laid awake for the next 5 hours timing my contractions and breathing through them as they got stronger throughout the night. They lasted from about 30 seconds to two minutes and were irregularly spaced 4-8 minutes apart. By 3 AM, my breathing was strong enough that Daddy woke up to ask what was going on. After a few more contractions, Daddy decided he wasn’t going to work that day. We were both wide awake with excitement knowing we would meet you soon.
At 4 AM, Daddy started timing my contractions. They were 50 seconds to 1.5 minutes long and 4 to 9 minutes apart. The pain was mild but I couldn’t talk through the contractions. Around 5 AM we decided to get up and start the day. I ate a little between contractions but didn’t feel very hungry. I wondered how much more intense these contractions would get before you were born. I took a shower, which felt great, and the contractions started to taper off, becoming less intense and further apart. I took the opportunity to sleep for an hour, waking up a few times to breathe through another contraction. Daddy called out of work at 8 AM and we went for a walk on the brisk November morning. I remember being keenly aware of my surroundings. My jacket felt snug on my abdomen when it tightened and I unzipped the bottom to give some relief. The contractions were not as intense as earlier and I worried that this was just a false alarm.
When we got home we timed a few more contractions which were less intense but more consistent at 5-8 minutes apart and one minute long. I called Back Cove Midwives and they canceled my ultrasound and made an appointment for me to come in at 10:20 for a non-stress test. I was relieved not to have the ultrasound and anxious to hear your heartbeat again. I also wanted to find out how dilated I was after a whole night of what I perceived as fairly strong contractions. Little did I know, these were the weak ones. The non-stress test went fine. Your heartbeat was 120-140 beats per minute with accelerations whenever you moved, just as it should be. I had a few contractions in the office but they seemed to taper off whenever I walked around. Jerri, the midwife in the office that day, checked my cervix and said I was 2 cm dilated. I thought I would be further than that by now but at least I was getting somewhere! They sent us home with instructions to rest as much as possible and that they would probably see me the next day in the hospital. The next day! It was only 10:30 AM and these contractions hurt! I didn’t know if I could do this for a whole day more. I was sure I would have you that night.
The afternoon went by slowly. We stopped at Shaw’s for some snacks and rented a Red Box movie since we thought we would be in for another long night at home. I tried to rest but the contractions were too strong, especially if I sat or lay down. Daddy rubbed my legs, feet, back, head, and hands while helping me breath through contractions. It was great to have him there and even though the contractions were getting more painful, I was beginning to think I could do this with his help. Being an Excel geek, he started a spreadsheet to time and record my contractions, and gave me an updated report after each one. I was exhausted after being up all night and tried to sleep between contractions. This is an important skill during labor and I was glad I had time to practice at home. After moving to the couch in an attempt to be more comfortable, the contractions got more intense and were consistently 3-4 minutes apart and one to two minutes long. Those are the magic “call the midwives” numbers so around 5 PM, Daddy made the call. Laura called us back from the hospital and said we could come in if we wanted. We were a bit surprised, assuming she would want us there right away since my contractions were so close together. This was obviously our first time going through labor and we didn’t know what to expect so Daddy and I decided we would be more comfortable in the hospital. He packed the car while I breathed through a few more contractions and we headed in.
Our family of three (you were there, just still in-utero) arrived at Mercy Hospital at 6 PM on November 16, 2010. The nurses were hesitant to admit us because I was only two centimeters seven hours before and this was my first baby, which usually takes a while. They brought us into the triage room and the nurse hooked up the monitor. You announced your presence loud and clear with a heart rate of 125. My contractions showed up on the monitor but I didn’t need a tocometer to tell me they were becoming strong! Since I had walked into the hospital from the parking lot, the contractions were further apart but increased in intensity once I relaxed in the bed for a few minutes. Usually contractions become stronger with activity and taper out with relaxation, I guess you were showing us that you weren’t going to follow the norm from the very beginning!
A student midwife named Lauren was assisting Laura that night and after introducing herself she checked my cervix. At this point, since I was still early in labor (although I would have argued that labor was pretty intense at the time) my cervix was still posterior and hard to reach. This made vaginal exams quite painful. Lauren declared that I was still 2 cm but “a loose two” which is the polite way of saying “all of that work this afternoon hasn’t done anything but we will try to be encouraging anyway”. Needless to say, I was a bit discouraged. They gave us the option of going home and coming back in the morning but I was there to stay. I didn’t know what to expect, especially since I thought the contractions were already so intense and close together, and I didn’t want to be at home wondering if I was about to deliver on my kitchen floor. Knowing the Birthplace from my nursing practicum, I requested Room 10 which is the biggest room and has a large tub for a possible water birth. We dragged all of our luggage down the hall and after pausing for a contraction in the hallway, attempted to settle into our room. It was a bit like arriving at a hotel room, but most of my hotel experiences have not included so much pain.
After monitoring me through a few more contractions, the midwives left Daddy and me alone to “try and get some rest”. By 7 PM I was unable to talk through contractions but “coping well” according to the nurses notes (that I later found and printed off at work). I tried the birthing ball but didn’t like how it made my abdomen touch my thighs. I was having pain in my lower abdomen and upper thighs and when these two areas touched anything, the pain was worse. I thought sitting on the ball would be comfortable but it was horrible and I got off after only a few contractions. Instead, I spent most of my time leaning over the bed with my forearms on pillows and my belly hanging down off the side of the bed. This seemed to be as comfortable as I could get although at this point, nothing was what I used to consider ‘comfortable’. I don’t remember being asked what my pain level was at any time although it is documented on the paperwork. Apparently at this time my pain level was 4/10. The nurse who documented this must have known more than I did since I’m pretty sure I would have given every contraction a 10. However, the pain continued to increase with each contraction so my standard for what “10” meant changed throughout labor.
Over the next few hours, I tried many different positions and comfort techniques that I had learned in my classes and from my reading. I lay down and Daddy rubbed my hands and feet. I leaned on the bed and Daddy rubbed my back. I lay down again and tried to rest between contractions but was unable to sleep at all. The nurse brought us some English muffins and juice, which Daddy scarfed down but the thought of eating made me feel sick. Most of this time is a blur in my memory. I remember occasionally feeling our nurse, Maureen, put the monitor on my belly for a brief check. It hurt more when she touched me but I knew from being in her place that she needed to monitor, so I tried not to protest. They took bloodwork around 9 PM but I hardly noticed the needle.
Daddy and I fell into a routine: we would both be resting, sometimes even dozing off in between contractions. When I felt my abdomen start to tighten, my breathing pattern increased and Daddy woke up and tried to comfort me-as much as he could. He always touched me, whether it was holding my hand, rubbing my head, or just laying a hand on my back. The most comforting thing was knowing he was right there with me the whole time. I would go hours without opening my eyes and his touch reminded me of his presence. He would sometimes try to get me to slow my breathing which helped near the beginning but later in labor I was unable to control the speed. He was tuned into my breathing pattern enough to know when the peak of the contraction happened and would encourage me by letting me know we were on the downhill side. I let out a deep sigh at the end of each contraction and then try to rest until the next one arrived. I remember my throat being very dry from breathing so quickly. Maureen gave me sips of water which felt good but I couldn’t drink much.
Around 10:30 PM Laura and Lauren came in to talk with me about my progression (or, from my view, lack thereof). They said they would check my cervix and if I still hadn’t progressed beyond 2cm they could offer me a shot of morphine which would probably stop the contractions (and pain) and let us rest until morning. That sounded like paradise to me and I secretly hoped I had not progressed. I wanted nothing more than to sleep for a while. They helped me into the bed, which made the contractions more intense, and announced that I had progressed to 4cm and 90% effaced! I had mixed emotions-part of me wished I could get the morphine and sleep but part of me was glad my body was doing what it was supposed to be doing and that all of these contractions were getting me somewhere. Laura immediately suggested I try the shower. However, in my sleep deprived pain-ridden state, I thought she said “try the shot”. I happily agreed only to see her head to the bathroom rather than the med cart.
Daddy put on his swim trunks and I stripped down and headed to the shower. I was shivering a bit so the warm water felt good. I was worried that Daddy would get cold since the water was mostly on me but he insisted he was fine. I started to sweat and we turned the heat down, I got cold and we turned it up. Somehow the water flowing over me lessened the pain, a little. We were there for 45 minutes and I remember thinking how much hot water we were wasting but my eco-consciousness was quickly overcome by the next contraction.
The 12:35 AM documentation states “fetal heart rate elevated with a prolonged acceleration x 4 minutes-a slight arrhythmia heard”. They never told me this, for which I am grateful. They knew it wasn’t anything significant at this point and I probably would have over analyzed, searched my brain for the worst possible explanation that I learned in nursing school, and freaked out.
I spent some time in the bathroom laboring on the toilet. Some of my friends had said this felt good when they were in labor so I wanted to try it. The pain moved more towards the front of my abdomen and off of my thighs which was a welcome relief but I quickly got cold since I was still undressed from the shower. Daddy and Maureen covered me with towels but it didn’t stop the shivering. I felt rectal pressure, like I had to poop, so I didn’t want to get off the toilet. I was having “camel back” contractions which meant I would have one very strong contraction followed by one or two weaker ones before the pain completely went away and I was able to rest. This was very intense and I asked if there was anything I could do to make them stop. The midwives suggested the tub but warned me that the warm water would probably slow down the contractions and I wouldn’t progress as quickly. I remember thinking, “Slower contractions! Bring it on!”
At 1:30 AM I was 5cm, 90% effaced, and -2 station, which means your head was still quite far up. Even though I knew the tub would slow progression, I needed to do something different to ease the intensity. The water felt great right away and I let my body float just under the surface. My head rested on a towel and Daddy sat next to me massaging my scalp. Lauren sat on the side of the tub near my feet and talked me through the contractions in a soft calming voice. There was still a lot of pain, but I felt relaxed, comfortable, and loved. The contractions did slow down and space out slightly for which I was grateful. I actually fell asleep between contractions, and I think Daddy did too. We would both wake up when the next one came and my breathing increased. Maureen occasionally used the portable Doppler to check your heart rate which remained strong around 140bpm. I was in the tub for two hours and the contractions were picking up again. I mentioned something about wanting a c-section, epidural, and to adopt all the rest of our kids. Lauren, knowing I didn’t really want an epidural (although I might have convinced myself otherwise at the time), reminded me that I would need an IV and a liter of fluids before the epidural could be started. With her and Daddy’s help, I remembered why I was doing this-I was having a baby, we were going to get to meet you! I kept talking about a c-section, which I think was my way of coping with the pain. I reminded myself what the alternatives were-namely major abdominal surgery-and Daddy talked me out of it between contractions. The arbitrary pain scale in the chart now reads 8/10, the chart was finally starting to feel my pain.
Realizing that I was having a hard time with the increasing pain and exhaustion, Maureen and the midwives suggested Nubain to help me rest. I agreed and I still think this was the best decision I made all night. I had wanted to birth drug-free but it had been over 40 hours since I had last slept and I desperately needed rest. I don’t regret getting Nubain at all. Lauren checked me again while I was still in the tub and stripped my membranes a bit which instantly increased the intensity of the contractions. I was “a loose 5” which was not encouraging but I knew the tub had slowed things down. The brief comfort it provided was worth the lack of progression. It took 10 contractions to get out of the tub and into the bed. At this point, every time I changed position, I would get another contraction so I didn’t want to move at all. At 3:45 I was in bed and got a shot of Nubain and some Phenergan (to increase the effectiveness of the Nubain).
For the next three hours, Daddy and I lay side by side in the bed (his couch-bed pulled right next to mine) sleeping in between contractions and waking to breathe through them as they came. The fast breathing was almost second nature as the pain started and I probably didn’t fully wake up many times. I learned in nursing school that Nubain “changes the sensation of the pain”. This is a fancy way of saying “you will still have pain”. As a patient, I found that the Nubain dulled the lesser sensations so the contractions seemed shorter. Contractions come like bell-curves. They start out mild, build in intensity, peak, and then slowly fade. The Nubain didn’t affect the peak-they were still as intense as ever-but it allowed me to sleep longer in between because the pain didn’t wake me up until later in the contraction.
Morning came-although I had no idea what time it was. Shift change gave us a new nurse (Nathalie), a student nurse, and Laura was replaced by Jen. Lauren, however was in the middle of a 72-hour shift and stayed with us the whole time. At some point, Daddy ordered breakfast, and ate his lemony pancakes in between contractions. He must have also gone to the bathroom at some point in the night but he was always by my side when a contraction came. The Nubain had slowed the contractions to every 3-5 minutes but around 8:30 AM they started to pick back up and I requested more Nubain. Jen said I could have it but suggested that she break my water to start moving things along. I knew breaking the water usually increased contractions but I was getting anxious to meet you, and be done with this labor nonsense, so I agreed. Lauren artificially ruptured my membranes at 8:42 AM and I instantly had the longest contraction that I can remember. They gave me some more Nubain but after a few more contractions I remembered that Nubain isn’t nearly as effective in repeat doses. With some help I flipped over in bed so Daddy could rub my back and decided I needed to attack these contractions with some serious breathing and concentration. Now that my water was broken, things were much more intense, and we were that much closer to meeting you.
I progressed slowly over the next few hours. Daddy kept reminding me to slow my breathing but it was too intense. All I could do was breathe and know that it wouldn’t last forever. My left leg was shaking through contractions and I would kick it out to try to stop the shaking. At 10:30 I was 6cm, 100% effaced and 0 station which meant your head was right on my cervix. I could feel it. I wanted to push. I felt like I had a huge bowel movement that I needed to push out.
I would grunt and cry out through contractions. I almost couldn’t breathe through them anymore. The pain was so intense that it took all my effort to breathe at all. I was squeezing someone’s hand, I think it was the poor student nurse. Daddy was rubbing my back. I was lying on my right side, my left leg was shaking, and my body was pushing uncontrollably with each contraction. I knew from nursing school that pushing before you are completely dilated could damage the cervix, cause it to swell, and slow progression. In between contractions I kept saying to Jen and Lauren, “I don’t want to push, I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it!” Nathalie then gave me the most profound piece of wisdom that I could have heard at that time. She said, “Christy, today you are a mom, not a nurse. Listen to your body and do what you need to do.” I remembered, once again, why my body was putting me through this torture. I was having a baby! I was birthing you! Millions of women had done this before me and I knew it could be done. I relaxed a bit and started pushing a little with each contraction. I pushed just enough to satisfy the overwhelming urge. It helped my shaky leg and seemed to lessen the pain-slightly. I needed to be reminded of the end goal-bringing you into the world.
Around noon, Lauren checked again and said there was just an anterior lip of the cervix left. She told me to push on the next contraction and she would try to slip the last bit of cervix over your head. I pushed and at 12:10, she announced that I was fully dilated! I was euphoric! I couldn’t believe we finally made it to this point. My body took over and I flipped onto my hands and knees. The pain was all but gone, replaced by adrenaline, excitement, and determination to get you out! I felt great, pleasantly surprised by the disappearance of the pain and determined to show everyone, including myself, that I had the strength left to make this happen. I grabbed the hand rails of the bed and with the next contraction bared down with more strength than I knew I had. I heard someone say, “Great push, you are really strong!” and I smiled, gasped for air, and gave it another go. Pushing felt fantastic. I was happy, almost pain free, and focused. I looked up at Daddy after the first push and he was crying. Your dad does not cry very often but he knew we were at the end, we were about to meet you and his wife’s pain was almost over! I, once again, remembered why we were going through this.
The contractions were much more spaced out, I only had 4 in the next 16 minutes, and I thought of you in there, working as hard as I was, ready to be born. We were doing this together, all three of us, as a family. Another contraction started and I was ready to go. I pushed with all my strength and Lauren said she could see your eyebrows! Eyebrows! You were a real person, a human, a baby, my baby. I couldn’t believe I had pushed you so far in just two pushes. Neither could anyone else in the room. I heard Nathalie call for back up and everyone scurry around getting the equipment ready. They had expected me to push for much longer! I couldn’t see what was going on because my face was buried in the bed, gearing up for the next round. It came, I pushed, and felt your head stretch my perineum. It burned, but at this point I didn’t mind. It was nothing compared to the contractions I had just experienced. I felt your head slip back a little as I rested and waited for the next contraction. The next push didn’t seem nearly as strong and I thought you had slipped back further but then the burning sensation was gone. I screamed something in gibberish, trying to ask if you were out, and someone answered “The baby is out! You did it!” I screamed again and looked behind me. There you were, in Lauren’s arms. Squirmy, bluish, shriveled, and the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She passed you to me through my legs since you were still attached to me by the umbilical cord. I stood there on the bed and cuddled you in my arms and kept crying, “Baby! MY baby! My baby!” Daddy and I hugged and kissed you, trying to understand that you were really ours. We were both crying. Our whole family was there, together for the first time. I turned around to sit down, stepping in a puddle of bodily fluids on the way, and while the nurses were drying you off we saw that you were a girl! We were so excited we forgot to check before! A girl! We had a beautiful daughter.
You whimpered a little but mostly just looked around wide-eyed, taking it all in. I couldn’t get enough of you. I kissed you a million times and stared at your tiny face through blurry tear-stained eyes. At some point Daddy cut the cord and then snuggled in next to us. I couldn’t believe you were here! I couldn’t believe labor was over. We made it, all of us together. I was so relieved and in love that I hardly remember delivering the placenta. The nurses gave me a shot of Pitosin in my thigh and massaged my uterus to help the bleeding stop. Daddy held you while Lauren stitched up the tear that your big shoulders made.
You were born at 12:26 AM on November 17, 2010. Less than an hour later we were alone in our room, enjoying our lunch. You nursed beautifully and then we all settled down for a well-deserved nap.
